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Q: Why do dogs make terrible dance partners?
A: They’ve got 2 left feet!

Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make ends meet.

Q: What did the Dalmatian say after he ate his dog biscuits?
A: “Ahh, that really hit the spots.“

Q: What happened to the dog who went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!

Q: When a dog has a fever, what’s the best thing to feed him?
A: Mustard—it’s the best thing for hot dogs.

Q: What do dogs do after they complete obedience school?
A: They get their masters.

Q: Why couldn’t the dog get the apple?
A: He was barking up the wrong tree!

Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: Ruff!

Did you hear about the dog who was fined for delivering puppies on the side of the road?
She was given a ticket for littering!

Q: How can you tell the difference between a dog and a tree?
A: By their bark!

A large number of dogs escaped the SPCA today. Police are looking for leads.

Beware of dog? A woman walks into a shop and sees a cute dog by the counter. She asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?” The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.” The woman pets the dog, who barks and nips her. “Ouch!” she shouts. “I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!” The shopkeeper replies, “I did! That’s not my dog!”

Q: Are dogs good at science?
A: Well, Labs are!

Q: Why do dogs float?
A: Because they’re good buoys!

Q: Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
A: He knew how to paws for dramatic effect!