I can run swiftly and silent...I can run swiftly and silently when you want me to stay still, I can move slowly and cautiously and am yours to fill. You look at me often and yet you always forget me, I am the most feared killer, yet you can't live without me. Sometimes you have me for all to spare, Yet when you need me, I am not there. You can waste me, or cherish me, you choose the track, But once you're done you can never get me back. What is it?
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
"Whoa!" the second kid replies. "Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."