I can run swiftly and silent...I can run swiftly and silently when you want me to stay still, I can move slowly and cautiously and am yours to fill. You look at me often and yet you always forget me, I am the most feared killer, yet you can't live without me. Sometimes you have me for all to spare, Yet when you need me, I am not there. You can waste me, or cherish me, you choose the track, But once you're done you can never get me back. What is it?
Birth control pills
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth-control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "Simple. I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night."