Shoot at me a thousand times...
Shoot at me a thousand times and I may still survive; one scratch from me and you will find your prospects take a dive. What am I?
Sleeves on fire
I recently found myself in what could be considered one of the most foolish situations of my life. I went out to light my cigarette, It was a cold Fall day, so I was wearing one of my worn-out hoodies. As I attempted to light the cigarette using a torch lighter, I caught the hoodie's sleeve on fire.
Initially, I didn't realize what had happened, but when I noticed the flames spreading, panic set in. My instinctive reaction was to try and extinguish the fire by using my other hand. Which, unfortunately, led to the second sleeve catching fire as well. At this point, I found myself with both sleeves ablaze and the fire starting to spread.
While there may have been several rational solutions, I was too lost in the moment to consider them. The thought of removing the hoodie crossed my mind, but with both my arms in flames, it seemed impossible. So, I opted for a rather foolish tactic of flailing around desperately in an attempt to put out the fire, which only just made it worse.
In a panic, I rushed into the nearest building for assistance, which happened to be the bank where I had recently deposited some funds. I entered, hoping to find help, but before I could say a word, security guards forcefully tackled me to the ground and threw me out of the building.
Because you can't bring firearms into a bank.
Credit: FireWater107 reddit user, from Dad Jokes subreddit