Out in the car...
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car.
The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and the man's girlfriend kissing in the back seat. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend.
The drunk staggered outside to the car, saw Pete and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar, laughing.
"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.
"That darned Pete!" the drunk chortled. "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"