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Guy with a cat wins the lottery
"Hey John, I need you to take care of my cat for 3 months".
"Three months?!"
"Yeah, but don't worry, all you need to do is feed her a 3 times a day, change her sand, play with her a bit and, god forbid, take her to the vet if she needs anything".
"Damn, so... what if she..."
"I have a plan for that too. Call me and say-"
"That she died?"
"No! Heavens no! I could not take that! You need to let me down easy. Just call me and tell me she climbed on the roof".
"On the roof?"
"Well... then tell me everything is fine. Remember: let me down easy! So say 'The fire department came and is trying to get her down, but all is good, no worries'".
"Okay?"
"After 20 minutes, call me and say 'She fell off the roof but she is fine. I'm taking her to the vet just in case. All is good, no worries'". "THEN, after an hour call me and say 'The doctor says she is fine other than a broken rib, so we'll run a few tests. All is good, no worries.'" "When 30 minutes pass, call me and say 'She needed surgery, her rib caused some bleeding, but she is recovering nicely. I'll talk to you when we get home. All is good, no worries'".
"Oh boy, are you-"
"Then wait for 30 minutes, call me and say 'Hey man, I don't know how to say this but, she didn't make it. I'm so sorry'".
"Dude, are you done? I got it. If your cat dies, I'll let you down easy. No worries".
The man says goodbye to his cat and leaves. Upon arriving in South America, he gets a call from John. Visibly worried, he answers "What is it, is my cat okay!?"
"What? Yeah, she's fine."
"Really? Do you mean that?"
"Yeah man, all is good. No worries. It's just that... Your mother climbed on the roof."