A guy wakes up with a massive hangover and stumbles into the kitchen, where he finds his wife.
“Hey, honey, did you upgrade the bathroom?” he asks.
“Why do you ask?” she replies, curious.
“Well, I opened the bathroom door, the light turned on by itself, and a cool breeze blew right into my face! It was amazing!”
His wife glares at him and says, “So you’re the idiot who pissed in the fridge last night!”
Sir Joseph WhitworthBorn 21 Dec 1803; died 22 Jan 1887 at age 83.English mechanical engineer (Baronet), who pioneered precision measurement. He held many patents for machine tools, textile and knitting machinery, and road-sweeping machines. He originated a scraping technique to make a true plane surface (1825). He advocated using the decimal system. In 1841, his standard screw threads were adopted by the Woolwich Arsenal. By 1851 Whitworth's machine tools were internationally known for their accuracy and quality, as well as his screw cutting lathes, his planing, drilling, slotting, and shaping machines, and his millionth-part measuring machine. He also did pioneering work in ordnance, creating a method for casting ductile steel to replace hard steel, which is subject to fracture.« |
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