What time would it be now?
If two hours ago, it was as long after one o'clock in the afternoon as it was before one o'clock in the morning, what time would it be now?
18 Worst dad jokes for Fathers Day, according to Amazon employees
Amazon employees reveal on their best WORST dad jokes in an hilarious video series to mark Father's Day. Filmed in its UK fulfilment centres. Scotland is revealed to be the bad dad joke capital of Britain.
Interesting, one of these jokes is also voted one of 20 Best dad jokes of all time
Why are pirates called pirates?
Cos they arrrr.
What do you get if you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
Do you know why dads take an extra pair of socks to golf?
In case they get a hole in one.
My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall to her …
I SAID MAYBE.
What did the janitor say when he walked into the cupboard?
Supplies.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
Have you heard about the chocolate record player?
It sounds pretty sweet.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
My friend cut his finger while he was cooking.
He shouldn't have been using the sharp cheese. Sorry, that joke was a little too cheesy.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog, they croak every night.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says,
Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says,
I'm sorry,
we don't serve food here.
Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
Because they're afraid one of them might crack up.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They just don't have the guts.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they turn around and make up stuff.