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Vere Murdoch

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Eileen Collins

Born 19 Nov 1956.Eileen Marie Collins is an American astronaut who was the first woman to pilot and, later, to command a U.S. space shuttle. After college she joined the Air Force, trained as a pilot to fly many different kinds of planes and eventually became an instructor pilot. She was selected in 1990 for the astronaut program while attending the Air Force Test Pilot School. Collins served as the first woman shuttle pilot on STS-63 (Feb 3-11, 1995). which included a rendezvous with the Russian Space Station Mir, and also STS-84 (May 15-24, 1997). On her third space shuttle flight, STS-93 (Jul 22-27, 1999), which deployed the Chandra X-Ray Observatory, she became the first woman space shuttle commander. Overall she has logged over 537 hours in space.

Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.
"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door..
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.."    

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