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Christopher Lamke

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What has rivers but no water, forests but no trees, and cities but no people?

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Died 24 Feb 1799 at age 56 (born 1 Jul 1742). German physicist and satirical writer, best known for his aphorisms and his ridicule of metaphysical and romantic excesses. At Göttingen University, Lichtenberg did research in a wide variety of fields, including geophysics, volcanology, meteorology, chemistry, astronomy, and mathematics. His most important were his investigations into physics. Notably, he constructed a huge electrophorus and, in the course of experimentations, discovered in 1777 the basic principle of modern xerographic copying; the images that he reproduced are still called "Lichtenberg figures." These are radial patterns formed when sharp, pointed conducting bodies at high voltage get near enough to insulators to discharge electrically, or seen on persons struck by lightning.

The owner of a drug store walk...

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Of course, you can! Look at him; he's afraid to cough!"
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