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robert daley

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You use a knife to slice my head and weep beside me when I am dead. What am I?

Radioactivity

In 1896, Henri Becquerel read a report to the French Academy of Sciences of his investigation of the phosphorescent rays of some “double sulfate of uranium and potassium” crystals. He reported that he placed the crystals on the outside of a photographic plate wrapped in sheets of very thick black paper and exposed the whole to the sun for several hours. When he developed the photographic plate, he saw a black silhouette of the substance exposed on the negative. When he placed a coin or metal screen between the uranium crystals and the wrapped plate, he saw images of those objects on the negative. He did not yet know yet that the sun is not necessary to initiate the rays, nor did he yet realise that he had accidentally discovered radioactivity. He would learn more from a further accidental discovery on 26 Feb 1896.

Home yet?

A middle aged woman sought help from her doctor.

"All my husband does is complain that I never want to have sex with him," she said. "And he's right too. I have no desire at all."

The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to return for a visit in two weeks. After the two weeks were up, she bounced smiling into his office.

"Those pills were great Doc, I'm doin' it twice a night now."

"That's wonderful," said the doctor, "What does your husband say now?"

"How should I know?" she replied. "I ain't been home yet."

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