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robert daley

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You use a knife to slice my head and weep beside me when I am dead. What am I?

Automatic electric stock quotation board

In 1929, the first automatic electric stock quotation board was put into operation by Sutro and Company of New York City. This was the first major advance in market information since the Edison ticker. The board was able to display the open, high, low and last prices of each stock listed, and automatically shifted the figures as changes were made. It was the first of a network of electrically posted black boards serving the securities industry, activated by a central transmitting station via telegraph lines. The system eventually reached over 700 brokerage offices from coast to coast. It was made that year by the Teleregister Corporation (which changed name in the 1960's due to mergers to become the Bunker Ramo Corp.)«*

Bowling again!

A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed.

So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl.

He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.

"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"

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