A robber came into my store ...
A robber came into my store and stole $100 from the register without my knowledge. A few minutes later, the same guy came back with the $100 he stole and purchased $70 worth of items and I gave him $30 in change. How much money did I lose?
The three wishes
One day, a man was walking down the street when he saw a genie lamp in a nearby alley. Excitedly, he picked it up and rubbed it. A genie came out and said, "I will grant you three wishes, Master!"
The man was so happy, his first wish was, "I want a billion dollars!!!!!!"
"Your wish has been granted, a billion dollars is now in your bank account."
The man was even happier. "I want a beautiful woman!"
"Your wish has been granted," the genie said and a beautiful woman appeared!
"This is great!" said the man. Not wanting to waste his last wish, he decided to think about it for awhile longer. "I can't think of another wish right now, can I tell you later?"
"Make it so, whenever you say your wish, it will be granted."
The next day, the man was driving down the road, as happy as ever. He heard a popular commercial song on the radio and decided to sing along with it.
"Oooooh, I wish I were an Oscar-Mayer weinerrr......"