A robber came into my store ...
A robber came into my store and stole $100 from the register without my knowledge. A few minutes later, the same guy came back with the $100 he stole and purchased $70 worth of items and I gave him $30 in change. How much money did I lose?
Hump Day Humor: Fresh Jokes to Get You Over the Week
Sometimes I wake up grumpy…
But other times I let her sleep in!
What smells better than it tastes?
A nose.
I have 6 legs, 4 arms and a 3 heads. What am i?
A liar.
Bruce Lee had a vegan brother.
Broco Lee.
I have been teaching my dog to fetch tools from my workshop…
He's not perfect, but he knows the drill!
When I turned 18, I went down to the courthouse to petition to change my name.
The clerk asked me why. "Just look at my application," I said. "If you were named Oskar Von Wootengootenbootenshoot, wouldn't you want something different?"
The clerk said, "I suppose you've got a point."
I said, "Yeah, I don't like Oskar, either."
Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it?
We changed it in the 9th century.
You mean you changed it TO 'Latrine?'
Yeah. Used to be 'Shithouse.'