How old is Tom's Granny?
Tom asked his Granny how old she was. Rather than giving him a straight answer, she replied: "I have 6 children, and there are 4 years between each one and the next. I had my first child (your Uncle Peter) when I was 19. Now the youngest one (Your Auntie Jane) is 19 herself. That's all I'm telling you!" How old is Tom's Granny?
You are not getting divorced!
An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is long enough."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
We can't stand the sight of each other any longer, he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.
Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like hell theyre getting divorced!" She calls their father immediately. "Youre not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, and don't file papers. DO YOU HEAR ME? She hangs up the phone.
The old man turns to his wife and says, "Okay, theyre both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.