What was never scared but be...
What was never scared but became petrified, can't make a bird but can make a bat, can't live in a house but would die to have one. What is it?
Old jokes
'Tell An Old Joke Day' is celebrated on July 24th. This day is a way to keep old jokes alive and kicking! Luckily, our archive started back in 2008, so plenty of Old Jokes!
A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady. A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and had to let loose a big noisy fart.
Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her "Do you by any chance have today's paper"?
The lady looked at him and said "No, but the next time we pass by a tree I'll grab you a handful of leaves.
Q: How many Manchester City fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter.
"Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area."
"Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"
A man goes into his doctor's surgery and says "Doctor, can you give me something for persistent wind?"
The doctor thinks for a moment then replies, "Yes, go and buy a kite."
Read more Old jokes on our very first jokes page: Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 25 June 2008