Calculate the number 271

On 4th October let's celebrate World Animal Day with a few chuckles:

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!

Did you hear about the crazy Aussie scientist who decided to crossbreed a porcupine with a sheep?
He made an animal that is able to knit its own sweaters.

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
The nurse asked the rabbit "what is your blood type?"
The rabbit replied "I'm probably a type-o".

Did you hear about the crazy Aussie scientist who decided to crossbreed a porcupine with a sheep?
He made an animal that is able to knit its own sweaters.

I returned my lizard to the pet store today as it wouldn't stop telling me jokes.
The store clerk said "that isn't a lizard, it is a stand up chameleon."

What happened to the frog's motorcar when the engine blew up?
It was eventually toad away.

Q: What did the goose say when he purchased a new lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill please."

Q: Is a kangaroo able to jump higher than the Eiffel tower?
A: Of course. The Eiffel tower can't jump.

You are able to tell the gender of an ant just by placing them in water.
If they sink, girl ant. If the float, buoyant.

Q: Why didn't the leopard enjoy playing hide and seek?
A: Because he was spotted all the time.

Q: Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?
A: Because if they had 4 doors then they would be chicken sedans!

Two men are touring through a game park when they eventually come across a lion that has not eaten for many days. The lion starts hunting the two men. One of them starts to tire and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord." He sees the lion on its knees and hears it saying a prayer: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."

I have just started a dating website for chickens.
It is not my normal job, I am just doing it..... To make hens meet

I have the heart of a lion, I also have a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo.