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Josh Middleton

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I'm gentle enough to soothe your skin, light enough to fly in the sky and strong enough to crack rocks. What am I?

Sir William Congreve

Born 20 May 1772; died 16 May 1828 at age 55. English artillery officer and inventor (2nd Baronet) who invented a rocket (about 1804) for use in warfare that improved on simple black-powder rockets. They were first used militarily against the French on 8 Oct 1806 at Boulogne and later at Copenhagen and Leipzig. By 1830, most European armies had copied them. He also invented a gun-recoil mounting, a steam engine, a triple-paper process for coloured watermarks and a “perpetual-motion” machine. He created a wheelchair for himself after losing the use of his legs. He designed a vessel propelled by a “wave-wheel” and a human-powered aircraft. His 18 patents also include making of gunpowder, gas lighting, “hydropneumatic” canal locks, a rolling-ball clock and a built-in sprinkler system.«

An elderly gentleman of 85 fea...

An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.
"Here's what you do," said the doctor, "start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for supper?" No response.
So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for supper?" Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for supper?" Again he gets no response.
So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"
"Damn it Earl, for the fifth time, CHICKEN!"
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