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Regnier Gemma FrisiusDied 25 May 1555 at age 46 (born 9 Dec 1508).Dutch geographer who was born Regnier Gemma, but following the convention of his times, added a Latin name when he became a scholar. He chose Frisius after his native Friesland province. He worked in the fields of cosmology, astronomy and mathematics. His first publication (1529) was a corrected version of Apianus' Cosmographia (1524). Gemma Frisius also applied his knowledge to catography, construction of globes, and making astronomical instruments. He introduced the principle of triangulation of observed places to accurately locate them on a map (1533). With similar trigonometric methods, he identified that comets exhibited a “proper motion” against the fixed star background. He was also the first to explain how measurement of longitude could be made from elapsed time measurements with a portable timepiece.«
The pickle slicer
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for many years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed.
"Yes, I did," he replied.
"My God, Bill, what happened?" she asked.
"I got fired," he replied.
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" she demanded.
"Oh... she got fired too."