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Sir Andrew NobleDied 22 Oct 1915 at age 84 (born 13 Sep 1831).(Baronet) Scottish physicist and gunnery expert, known as a founder of the science of ballistics. He invented the chronoscope, a device for measuring very small time intervals, and in about 1862, he used it to measure the velocity of shot in gun barrels. His investigations in ballistics led to the redesign of guns, new methods of loading, and development of new types of gunpowder.
A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed.
So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl.
He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.
"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"
She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"
He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.
"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"