You have no control over me,...
You have no control over me, I am not real, though sometimes you believe me, I come back every night, but am often forgotten, Though left alone, I will never become rotten, Sometimes I remind you of things yet to come, Sometimes, watching me, you do things you've never done, I rarely ever turn out to be true, Now I am done with this riddle for you. What am I?
Church Bell
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied. "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would be asking for trouble.
"Oh, no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "and if the damn ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today.