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Saint Magnus AlbertusDied 15 Nov 1280 (born 1193). Albert, Count von Bollstädt a.k.a Abertus Magnus, Albert the Great was a German scholar and theologian who championed Aristotle's philosophy, but adapted it to the medieval outlook, and held that there was merit in the addition of personal observation. He was keen on botany, and throughout his travels on church business would contribute to that science. As a skeptic of alchemism, he nevertheless conducted experiments on the possibility of transmutation of the elements. Among his writings are such descriptions of the element arsenic that he is sometimes credited for its discovery, though it was probably known earlier in an impure form. He assembled much information on minerals and noted the existence of fossils. The thought the spots seen on the moon were surface features, and that the Milky Way wase a dense swath of stars. Centuries later, in 1931, Pius XI proclaimed him a Doctor of the Church.«
A cop waited outside a popular pub hoping to nab a drink-driver.
At closing time, as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry.
The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk.
He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes looking for his car.
After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.
He sat in the car a good 10 minutes as the other pub patrons left.
He turned his lights on, then off.
He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped.
Finally, when his was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.
The cop, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over.
He administered the breathalyzer test and, to his great surprise, the man easily passed.
The cop was dumbfounded.
'This equipment must be broken,' exclaimed the policeman.
'I doubt it,' said the man. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'