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Caulking gun patentIn 1894, Canadian inventor Theodore Witte of Chilliwhack, British Columbia, was issued a U.S. patent for a "Puttying-Tool" to improve the application "of putty to window sashes and similar things." It incorporated the ratcheted feed now familiar in the caulking gun (No. 512930). The putty is placed in a tube fitted with a nozzle at one end, and a ratcheted lever-operated piston at the other which moves longitudinally through the body in order to squeeze the compound out through the nozzle. The lever is "manipulated so as to force the putty outward as fast as is necessary, and the nozzle is dragged over the surface to be puttied," until the whole mass within the body is ejected from the nozzle. The method has since been adopted to apply a variety of construction materials, including caulking and glue.«
Not sure if they hired him....
NAME - Greg Bulmash
DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY - $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION - Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD - Reclining on my mom's couch.
SALARY - Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT - My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING - It sucked
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK - Any
PREFERRED HOURS - 1:30 - 3:30 pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE? Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising